The Secret to Dating in NYC

August 4, 2017

New York City—the best place in the world.  Millions come here to chase their dreams, build careers, and live fabulously.  And it's no secret that many also come here to find LOVE.  After all...Everyone wants to find their person, and what better place than NewYork City?  New York is romantic, mysterious, exhilarating, and dreamy. If you think about it… the best romantic films are set in New York...You’ve Got Mail, Sex in the City, Tootsie, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally; the list goes on and on!   

However, every single person knows that New York can be overwhelming.  Sometimes it can be difficult to



find true love in this busy, fast-paced wonderful world we call home.  Secret Girl is excited to introduce you to Relationship Expert Rachel Russo who has ALL the secrets to meeting your person in NYC.


People can get overwhelmed by this big city.  What are 5 secrets you can share with us about meeting your “person” in NYC? 


1. Sometimes, you have to be the last one standing! It is a tough dating scene. You need stamina to deal with all of the rejection. You have to be in the game to win it. 


2. To increase their chances of finding a relationship-oriented man, women should consider dating in the boroughs & even suburbs close by--like Hoboken, Jersey City, Stamford, or Greenwich. 


3. Single girls should be set up by the city's top matchmakers--at no cost to them. But they aren't likely to get many matches unless they are willing to date 10-15 years older. This is what the typical male matchmaking client asks for in NYC. 


4. NYC men can feel entitled and be lazy when it comes to dating. They have so many options, they don't have to settle or go out of their way too much to get women. To prevent a good guy from falling into this negative type of mentality, a woman should set the bar high. So if she doesn't want to schlep all the way downtown to meet him a block away from his office for a drink after work, she should tell him she'd like to meet halfway or have him come to her neighborhood. You can't force a man to be a gentleman, but you can try!


5. NYC is huge, but a lot of social circles are actually small, and you can see the same people over and over at events and parties if you don't branch out. Don't just hang out with the same people. Branch out to increase your chances of meeting someone compatible! 


For those who are not interested in online dating, what is the secret to dating in the real world without any apps or websites? 


Well being a matchmaker, I think  the best way to meet compatible matches is by being set up! With a trustworthy matchmaker, you know so much more about the person going into the date than you would if you met him/her in any other way. Plus, you don't have to waste your time putting yourself "out there". If you don't want to go the matchmaking route, the secret is to find activities that you truly enjoy doing and go do them so you can meet like-minded people. If you don't meet anyone to date, you can meet friends who can introduce you to potential dates. At the minimum, you had fun. Fun raises your vibration and will help you naturally attract someone special. 


Where do you even begin to look for love in New York City?


Leave no stone left unturned. All the usuals are alive and well in NYC--plus so much more. You can try: Tinder. Bumble. Other dating apps. Social Clubs. Matchmakers. Happy Hours. Online Dating Sites. Meditation classes. At the gym, Through your friends. On line at Whole Foods--cause those lines are always so long! The options are endless....


Let's talk about first dates. What are your Secret Do's and Dont's?


Secret Do: Do something fun and relaxing beforehand to prepare yourself for the date, as opposed to going straight from work or squeezing it in on a busy day.

Don't be more interested in the food than getting to know your date. Sometimes this is hard in the land of the foodies and boring singles, so at least pretend to be more interested in your date! 

What is the secret to getting rid of first date jitters? 

Realize that the other person is likely just as nervous as you are. If that doesn't work, picture your date as a young teenager on his/her very first date! 


Can you please share the secret to turning a first date into a second date? 


Be curious about the person and the experience in general. Go in with an open-mind and see what comes of it. Think of it is a learning experience and just focus on learning your lesson instead of scoring a second date. 

What are your favorite secret first date spots in New York? 

Cozy hotel bar/lounges. Sexy rooftops. Basically the places no one knows about. If I told you, they wouldn't stay secret! :)


Most single girls have no problem finding a casual “hookup" in New York City.  But many simply want something more serious.  What is the secret to turning a casual fling into a committed relationship? 


Act like the last thing you want is a committed relationship! Ha. Seriously, though. Show him you really like like him, but don't let on that you are hungry to lock him down. Just live your life. Don't make him too important, but keep hooking up and have hope that he will come around if he's the right guy. When he thinks that the committed relationship was his idea, it works out so much better! 


At Secret Girl, there is nothing we love more than Secrets.  Can you please share with us a dating secret that you have NEVER shared before?  


If the date is going considerably well, text him something cute from the bathroom. When you come back to the table, he'll be smiling. It'll make him feel like he's "the man" and is winning you over. And if he really likes you, its no secret that he'll be thinking he's "got" you! 



 Rachel Russo, MS, MFT is a Matchmaker, Dating & Relationship Coach, Author & Speaker.  Rachel is the founder of Rachel Russo Relationships-a NYC-based dating and relationship consultancy-and has worked as a matchmaker for twelve years, currently with Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking. Rachel is the author of two books: A Fab Job Guide To Become A Matchmaker and How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style as well as countless blogs. She also currently teaches aspiring matchmakers how to start business through her work with Matchmaking Institute.


From her media interviews on WGN Morning News to The Mancow Muller Show to Glamour Magazine,  Rachel was voted one of the top twelve best NYC matchmakers in 2014.  Originally a Jersey Girl, she's lived and worked in NYC throughout her entire career. She knows how hard dating is and once went on ninety-two NYC dates and blogged about them! Extremely passionate about helping New Yorkers find and keep love, Rachel  acts as the resident relationship expert co-host on Brooklyn Savvy Tv. Without a doubt, Rachel's drive, credentials, and experience makes her the ultimate dating and relationship expert. 



Cheers to Love & Life,

Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

Matchmaker + Dating & Relationship Coach

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